In his four-hour press conference earlier this week, Russian President Vladimir Putin was asked if he had designs on annexing Alaska?
Imperial Russian sold the area in 1867 for $7.2 million to the Americans, a move it has since come to regret. But to annex it now?
While the idea seems rather farfetched at first, after what happened in Crimea, we cannot be sure of anything anymore. So we asked our political experts to weigh in on the matter and here’s what they say:
1. Well, if it’s true that Sarah Palin, the former governor of Alaska and one-time double to Tina Fey‘s Vice-Presidential campaign, is in a rocky marriage, perhaps this may be Putin’s way of getting closer to the once bright Republican star. Here’s the “Tonight Show” video to show the twosome in action.*
2. Oil. Alaska has lots of oil and unlike the United States, it won’t be bothered by any environmental laws.
3. It would allow Russian’s Kontinental Hockey League to expand to North America, putting it closer to some mouth-watering matches with Canadian teams.
4. U.S. President Barack Obama has his “Asian pivot,” or military shift towards containing China, and with Alaska in tow, Putin will have his “North American pivot.”
5. Putin would like nothing better than to embarrass his arch enemy, Obama and Alaska is the perfect place to do it. Would anybody notice if Russia invades the state anyway?
6. There is a growing secessionist movement in Alaska; Putin can exploit this and really become a global kingmaker.
7. Taking over Alaska will give new meaning to the Cold War.
8. Putin has always fancied the Alaska Iditarod Race. Taking over Alaska will give him a chance to race in it. Now that’s manhood!
9. Would anyone in the U.S. really miss Alaska if it was annexed by Russia?
10. Just think, if Russia invades Alaska, it would mean the Americans would have to grant Puerto Rico statehood in order to keep the flag with 50 stars on it. That’s the most important reason of all!
*Palin predicted Russia’s invasion of Ukraine back in 2008 on the vice-presidential campaign trail.